im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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