dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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