Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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