its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Green mimosas i think yes
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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