At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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