You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
