dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I can tuck mytits in my pants
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
