dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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