Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
