I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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