I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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