He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
