last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
