Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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