So drunk, too bad you don't want this
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
