she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
