I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
