One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize