I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
