By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
soo... how was my night?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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