I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
