hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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