Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
