I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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