Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
