It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
