i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
