I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
