Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
