I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
