i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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