my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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