Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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