The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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