Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
