I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
