And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
