My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
