Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
