ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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