I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
