i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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