ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
