i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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