That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
