That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
