Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
