I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
a search helicopter?!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
