She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
