I hate all girls vehemently.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
