I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
