he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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