i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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