He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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