1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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