You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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